Let me start out by saying that I'm not trying to start a theological discussion. Simply put, I believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Always have. But having a child is making me start to wonder about that.
Why? Because based on my admittedly amateur observations, the goal of all children, from birth until--well, I don't know when but I sure look forward to it--is to kill themselves. Or at least inflict serious self-harm.
I don't think it's intentional; at least, I'd prefer to believe that we don't have a little cult of suicidals running around. No, I think it's their innate need to figure things out. I just wish that the things they were figuring out weren't so bloody dangerous. Like stairs, and the need to see whether what goes up comes down, and just how quickly and painfully. Or what those little plastic things jammed into electrical sockets are. (A was less than a year old the first time she wandered over and handed me a plastic outlet protector. We quickly did away with them because she so enjoyed pulling them out that I felt like we were simply baiting her when we put them back in.) After myriad falls, scrapes, bruises, etc., I'm convinced that you could put nine innocuous things on a table alongside a grenade and the first thing a child would reach for would be, you guessed it, the grenade.
Which is why I'm pondering Darwin and his theory. If only the fittest of the species is supposed to survive, how does anyone make it out of childhood alive? This is, of course, rhetorical: because of his/her parents. So, then, are we interfering in the whole "survival of the fittest," thus changing it to "survival of the child with the quickest parents"? And yes, I know that he was referring to species... but so am I. As a race, humankind wouldn't have made it without hyper-vigilant parents. I fully believe this now.
Unless, of course, I'm wrong and it's only my little darling who is seemingly determined to off herself the second I turn my back. Weigh in, anyone? I figure I'd better know now whether to start saving for therapy or if I should just invest in a helmet and knee pads instead.
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2 comments:
Within the last 24 hours, Kamryn has started pulling the outlet covers out of the wall.
What's great about it is that she knows she's not supposed to...and so does her sister.
So I get a pair of 18-month-olds walking into a room, handing me a handful of outlet covers and saying, "No, no, no."
I haven't quite figured out how to handle this situation.
Oh, and does Darwin's theory say anything about toddlers throwing food? Because I've got a couple of 'em that might not be allowed to eat anymore if they don't knock it off soon.
Either that or I'm just going to snap. You'll read about me on the internet -- the parent who took his family to an Olive Garden and started slinging pasta and drinks all over the place and laughing about it.
Two of 'em. Yikes. Especially when there's collusion going on? I have no answers for you. Other than that I'm looking forward to reading about said Olive Garden spree. (Which sounds kind of fun when I think about it... shall I make the reservations?)
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